I have been studying my self the last 48 hours or so and I think I can explain high school. I was a capital B. No way around it. But I think it has a lot to do with too high levels of serotonin and lack of sleep. I decided to mess up my sleep schedule this weekend and live out my youth while I still had some left… Big mistake. I now feel evil 24/7. I want to kick dogs, reprimand rude teens, curse ( :-0 ), snap at any one slower than me at any given moment… it’s like a flash back to high school and my early 20’s. Back when I wasn’t sleeping. Now in my old age, I sleep 12 or more hours a day. But I am nicer. Smiling, fake curse words, more willing to wait…less likely to kick a barking dog in its intrusive noise maker!
TANGENT: I’m sorry, but I’m a cat person… down with dogs! And… I have never kicked a dog and I won’t unless one attacks me because dog owners are super scary. I had a dog owner friend and someone did kick her dog and she went ape shiza on them. It was a learning experience for me.
Any who, I just wondering if there is some other way to deplete serotonin? I feel great when it’s gone, but I have to deal with the side effects of the “treatment”. Not always fun during or after. I am a control freak of my behaviors and really, the “treatment” takes away my brain’s decisions and acts on my instincts or whims. Lame. Sure, I see fluffy things in real life that I would love to caress them until they are no longer fluffy; However, I slap my hand and act like I was stretching. Not the case when you are on the “treatment”. It’s like inhibitions and reason, out the window. The goal: be the normal crazy, not the “given the creeped out look” crazy.
TANGENT: Since the word crazy came up, I just need to vent about the 12 year old I saw get on the bus that I wanted to kick in the head. Obviously, he wasn’t 12 because he got off the bus at the community college, but he had a high pitched voice and would have a very hard time getting into a bar. What, I said it! Also, he was not attractive really and his clothes didn’t fit for his more round physic. Normally, I wouldn’t need to describe the person I am talking about, but I think it’s relevant for this tale. So, nosey Nelly Jen peeks over the seat as he is texting someone and it reads, verbatim: “I love crazy people though. They are always the horniest.” I just about ripped out my headphones and said: “Look virgin, as if you could get laid, crazy people have standards too and you are bottom of the bucket.” This experience has made me want to stop texting in public… Plus everyone knows that crazy people aren’t necessarily the horniest, they are just the best in the sack. Hollar! Lol… kidding… or was I?
The urge to call in sick to work this morning was strong. But what do you say over the phone, “Hi, it’s Jen, I’m really grumpy and I don’t want to get fired, so I’m calling in sick, thanks!” Heck to the no. You grab the strongest cup of coffee you find, you zombie walk into work and you fake smile until it’s not fake any more. Even if it hurts *Shakes fist at ceiling* rent doesn’t pay it self, unfortunately. I like to raise the octave in my voice. People think I have a great phone voice but really, I have just done my research. Studies prove that men find high voices sexier and women find them friendlier. Unless you are me and then you find them annoying. I went through a stage where I would hang up on customer service people until I got a man. They don’t socialize over the phone, they are blunt and they are more willing to “make an exception” because they don’t want to deal with a lot of drama or paper work. I hear ya brother, power to the man powered work force! Woot woot! But in all seriousness, I save the low tones for my non professional life so I can keep a job. People don’t like grumpy or unhappy people. They want to feel like you improved their day. Welcome to Seattle. I wonder how different New York really is. *Ponders*
Well this concludes another post by Jen. I wish I could post more, but 1. This is more time consuming than it looks and 2. Inspiration baby, I need it in spades.
Happy Tuesday because it’s not Monday any more!
