I had a mini crisis this week, my landlord called me at work and I answered the call. Idiot. You think that after years of bad landlord experiences, I’d learn to not answer their calls, while at work. She dropped some heavy vague double meaning like phrases in our 5 minute chat. Bottom line, be more on top of my recycling and garbage or else. She never said or else and an ultimatum was never mentioned, but vagueness to an over thinker is cruel and unusual torture; especially with Seattle’s “beat around the bush” and “sugarcoat” attitudes. These locals would rather be nice than upfront. It took me a little over a week after that phone call to get my house clean and the trash sorted from the recycling, but I did it!! So I fell a little behind. It’s been a very bad last 6 months and I guess I just stopped caring. Between the car drama and my 25th birthday (Not listing everything in between like losing two different jobs), I just really gave up on life. At one point, the condition of my house kept me alive. I couldn’t imagine leaving my mess for someone else to clean up. (Watching CSI has shown me that this is a common thought process for most suicidal women.) I am not publically admitting this because I need help or I am at risk now. I am telling you, my readers, because I over came those obstacles. I used to reach out to close friends and family, but I became that “Oh, she’s at it again. Sorrow fests and fishing for compliments.” I realized that what ever keeps me here needs to come from me. At the end of the day, it’s my reflection that I have to answer to. Talking to my landlord a few days ago, she expressed that she really wanted my place clean for me too. That it could really help improve my mood and make me a happier person. So far, I think she is right. My house smells like apples and I can find socks! Already a huge improvement.
I made some decisions a couple of months ago, cutting my past off from my present. Sometimes, I miss the people I left, and then I think how drama free my life has become. How I am no longer sad or mad all the time. Sometimes I get irritated on the bus…those people really need to learn etiquette. Be aware of your surroundings because unlike other Seattleites, I will say something to your rude behavior. Any who, I just feel better and better everyday. The elevators at my work have been in construction since before I started working there. I work on the 3rd floor, so at first, it was hard! Especially since I do tasks that require me to frequent the 1st floor. This last Thursday, the work was completed. I have been in them once and it was because I was running late for my bus and I forgot to post a sign on the 1st floor. It was a matter of being late or really late. I have to say, I feel so much better the more I climb those stupid stairs. I would really like to continue doing so. There are going to be times when I will have to take the elevator, like when I need to deliver supplies or if my boss is talking to me and I have to follow her. But I know that I will make the right decision. And hopefully, I will make the decision to find an inexpensive gym. I happen to work right next to 24 hr fitness, but good lord. They want my arm and leg in membership fees. And if you are not a member, they really make you suffer. They might as well be asking for my first born. There is always the non-gym working out? Lol…if you know me at all, you know that hell will freeze over before you catch me running around the block every morning. *chuckles* good times. It’s like I always say, you will only catch a Jen running if the last bus is leaving…or if the next bus isn’t for an hour… Even then, it really depends what stores are around and what’s open. :D
I am writing this, because I want you to know that I am finally starting to feel an improvement in my life. I thought I was getting fatter there for a second, but it must have been water weight because my clothes are finally feeling looser. Things are really starting to look up for me. Sakura con was the best event I have ever been to and I think I made some friends. They are pretty funny on face book. It’s nice to have friends that embrace technology… It’s not going away, might as well assimilate. I love my job more and more with each passing day and I think I am really getting the hang of it. I hope that my co-workers feel the same about me. In fact, I am sure they like me as much as I like them. I know that I make a lot of them laugh. Laughing is important. It cures just about any thing you can encounter in a work week. My house is almost clean! If only my sister was here to do a once over. No one gets a house sparkling like she does. But it’s ok, I am hoping to get a maid in here to do a once over. Things that require you to be on your knees, like floor scrubbing and wall wiping. I wasn’t built for that kind of labor… All in all, I feel like the past is finally behind me. I am ready to live my life and I am actually living it! YAHOO! And, best news of all, I actually have energy after work. I get home, I sit down and think, “How late can I be out drinking and still be home in time to get u at 6am?” I used to get home and pass the heck out. Now I just want to be alive. With it getting warmer and sunnier, I may act my age this summer. I would like to go camping, do a bar-b-que, swim and drink a lot. It’s the summer I will actually enjoy! Are you with me? If you got awesome plans this summer, let m know! I want to go too!
