Dear Diary,
You ever feel like writing something nonsensical because it
feels like that might be the thing to bring a little magic into your life? Like
some last unicorn (from the 70s) bs where it feels sad at first but ends as
happy as possible. I mean, she’s the last of her kind… How was that ever going
to end on a happy note? Writing Is such
a strange hobby because it doesn’t seem hard until you are trying to think of
what to write. That’s probably why I blog during high emotion. Emotions provide
so many thoughts. Non-stop thoughts about everything from why the sky is blue
to why killer whales seem friendly. It’s a façade. Run. Who ever made Free
Willy… ya lied. I recently watched a video of a female elderly orca hunting
down and killing a male great white shark in his prime. I don’t know what he
did, but he paid for that crime.
I am currently retracing some old pathways from my youth,
but with a different perspective. It’s weird how life doesn’t really change and
yet it feels like it because of how much we have changed. I am seeing past advice
much more clearly than ever before. Like inception, because I can’t tell you
who planted these ideas but thank you. I am focusing on my healing and
happiness rather than waiting for someone to show up so I can try to make them
happy. What does an unhappy person know about that anyway? The logic seems so
legit in hindsight. Funny, how in the moment, you think you know everything.
The biggest relationship killer is assumption. Stop making an ass out of u and
me, silly goose.
On that note of the last unicorn… Once there was a girl. She
was stubborn. She thought she knew what love looked like because she watched
every hallmark movie where the girl gets the boy just with her million-dollar
smile and charming back story. Turns out, dudes are just as complicated as females.
Did you know that some guys like getting flowers? I just love that. I read
online that when you want something from your partner, try doing it for them to
see how it hits. That’s it people. I am bringing flowers to my next first date.
Why does dating have to be so sexist? I just need it to be something cool, like
black roses. Dark like my soul.
And then the girl started using some of her shadow work
healing to talk to people in a way they better deserve. I don’t think men know what it
feels like to get a bunch of DMs on your looks. Maybe they don’t get those type
of DMs and they think the females will appreciate it? Should I try making comments
on appearance? I really try to avoid the topic until I absolutely have to say something.
Most people aren’t my “I have a crush on you” type anyway. Because I am not
looking at you. I am listening to you. When looks fade, what will be left? The
shell of a person? Hard pass. I want thoughts. Passion. Meaning to life and the
universe that isn’t 42. Good conversation will keep me warmer than any charming smile. Work on your brain and then you may chase me. Happy Hunting!
Any who, I mostly wrote this to stay relevant. Can't practice writing if you are not writing. I promise to
have more direction in the future. Keep Swimming Readers!
-Jen
