I broke my own rule. I censored myself. I deleted two entire blog entires because after re-reading them, I saw how much of ME was on display. Strangers have a way of taking your deepest darkest secrets and using them against you. I don't know if I am clinically crazy, because no doctor has told me so. But I will admit there are days that I feel crazy. This last week, I have shown a side of me that I thought I had control over. I collided with two mentally unstable individuals and all of our collective drama fed my flames. I instigated just as much as they did and more. I'm not proud of myself. And I think it's safe to say that I can not be apart of those people's lives anymore. I am sure they are good people, in different circumstances with different people. When I'm around though, ant hills are like Everest sized mountains. Almost like an alcoholic is a liquor store. So after a third party evaluation, I realize that if I didn't censor myself, I could lose more than I already have. The only thing that has changed in the last 24 hours is that I finally feel responsible for the accusations made against me and I am actually sorry. And not because I was caught. I really needed someone who knew me to look at all the facts objectively. I found my answer. I was wrong.
On a more positive note, I think my best friend may be a better writer. Curse the heavens! This is actually good news though, because I have someone to bounce ideas off of. And someone who will read my stuff and be honest. I need someone who can separate personal from professional while giving me the hard facts. Amber is good at that, yay! Being a true friend means taking the side of the most right party regardless of what side your friends on. We don't see eye to eye on everything, but that makes us an effective team. There to share different perspectives. She's Eco-friendly and I'm the capitalist consumer. Now let's get writing. Maybe I will start a book...
"January 12th, 1986, a Persian princess is born to a rebellious teenager in the middle of the Missouri bible belt. Military dad away in the field and mom at home with many a fella, Jen grew up learning you have to love family but not like them; a quote her own mother said to a misbehaving 4 yr old Jen who never forgot those words and never stopped hearing them. Read more to find out how this little Capricorn made it through and created her online family with the alias odizus. This is her life, as accurately recorded as a gold fish memory could muster."
Bam! That's how you write an opener to your life story.
More to come when I think about how much more to reveal. Tell the whole story or add times of fantasy when it gets sad or scary. Life should be fun. If you can't live a fun life, dream one up. ^_^
Stay awesome readers!
