T.H.I.N.K as I see it

I find my self sitting with a blank word document thinking, how I should continue this blog. I could go on like this is my personal diary; but even I would get bored. In the meeting with the resume  person yesterday he used a lot of great analogies to describe the kind of cover letter I want to create. I think I can take those and use them towards this blog, sort of. My favorite example he used was when most people write cover letters, they are talking about them selves. This is why a resume is created. Use the cover letter to show interest in the company; like a first date. If you on a date with a really awesome person and they spend the entire date talking about them selves, would you see them again? I wouldn’t, even if they were hot; same with my blog. I read and re-read this thing because I want to represent myself how I see myself. I wrote something before I wrote this and I was yawning. It’s time to be an interesting person and I think I can only do that by experiencing life. I have become a shut-in, except for work which supports my anti-social life style. I think I am ready for more. So enough of all that jazz, how are you?

There is nothing like the story of another to bring you out of your own reality. Sometimes I feel utterly inspired by the stories in books and films. One of the most influential films for me in the last 6 months was Tron: Legacy. No rhyme or reason to explain why a futuristic and technological take on life would better my own life, except I think we all need a little fantasy in our lives. Maybe, a little excitement to show us that we are still alive with out putting our own lives at risk. Sometimes the inspiration is a character; how they achieve their goals or how their deal with their disappointment. I like to look at them as teaching aides. I get some of my greatest advice from watching other humans going through fictional situations similar to my own. What tools do they use that I am not using. What words do they choose that I fail to find in myself? It doesn’t help knowing that these characters are reading a script and the story is set in stone, but do you ever watch a movie over and over again hoping it will be different at least once? Bring the element of humanity into something so falsely representing it. And yet, as I said before, they are still my teaching aides for my life. False in the sense that things always seems to go as perfectly planned. Life is not like that. I could script out my entire existence and I promise there would be unexpected elements added all the time. I can’t predict what other people will do and say, also known as free will. Does this prove that fate is not set in stone; instead a series of choices all leading to different individual forks in the road to your own reality? 

Wouldn't it be amazing to see the possibilities that lay behind each fork on the road to decision; or would it end up being like a movie. You know where it’s going, why watch it follow through… Luckily, I love watching the same movies over and over, except for the scary or bad ending movies. Life is probably closer to these types of movies. It would be better not to see where those forks could lead. You might end up seeing worse or even more worse. How do you choose between those two roads? Would there be an influx in suicide?

When I read the last 3 sentences, I see realism. I also see where somewhere could see a negative nelly. I guess we all choose what we want to see when we see different words chained together. I see truth where as someone else sees only darkness. Maybe I made my life this way, or maybe life has always been this way, I just took off my rose colored glasses. I can not lie though; I miss my rose colored glasses. I know that we are all born with a set in place. It’s our life experiences that change how we see the world, or remove these proverbial glasses. Is it better to be ignorant and happy or well informed and haunted? What I need are some travel ear plugs. Just pop those babies in every time I sense knowledge being exuded. Not all knowledge is beneficial.

T.H.I.N.K, I have heard this acronym many times through out my life; probably because I often forget it and find myself breaking all the rules.

• T – True, are you about to say something that is true or false?
• H – Helpful, do your words take or give back to the situation?
• I – Inspiration, do your words stimulate emotion?
• N – Necessary, did you need to add that last thought?
• K – Kind, do your words hurt people’s feelings?

It’s not easy to think before you talk. It’s even harder to follow all these rules all the time. Experience teaches us that the more we are true to these rules, the better our human interactions become. It’s a universal truth that we all just wanted to be treated the way we perceive our selves. Some of us are humble and see one human interacting with another human. Others have a life long ego boost and see all others bowing down to them; or vice versa. Either way, remember the above listed acronym before you speak and I bet your interaction will improve.

Although my above example sounds like it is full of judgment, it is not. Who am I to tell you your upbringing is incorrect. Many people are born into luxury and quickly come accustomed to a certain life style. One of my favorite phrases growing up was “It’s not fair!” My mom was always telling me how unfair life is and how I will learn to avoid pointing it out one day. I still think life is unfair, I just don’t say it anymore. Maybe it’s my American upbringing, but I think we should all be treated equally. History is supposed to teach our society the mistakes of the past, but I still the same hierarchy we fled from. I want to say that we are no longer born into our standing in life, and for many Americans, this is true. But there are so many more that are not as lucky. Hearing this, isn’t your first thought about how unfair this is?  

Ok, I’m a bleeding heart, but isn’t it better to worry about something really important rather than something so shallow? I would love to not worry at all, except it just seems to be written into my DNA. I have met several people in my life who claim to been able to detach them selves from things like worry and insecurity. I am not surprised to find that most of these people are Libras. The only problem I have seen thus far is the level of responsibility. IF you don’t care, then does it matter? It always matters, no matter your level of interest. It’s the difference between doing a good job and a great job or being there and not. Therefore my curse of worrying is a gift. I know that I am the person I want to be when I see my self worried or concerned; or when I care about the quality of my work.

I said before that I hate being so knowledgeable and I gave you all the negative sides to it. But there is a positive side. You can bring your gained wisdom to lost souls. You can prevent future failures by learning from past failures. But most of all, you can be proud all your hard work. Like this blog for me. I thought I wanted a blog to publicly cite my emotions and vent my frustrations. Now I think it’s my way of openly talking to myself. I can’t hear my own voice, but I can read it. Thank you internet.

A wise man in my life told me that there are two aspects to every person; the body and the soul. (NO, I am not pushing my beliefs on you, just explaining a point through them.) I believe in reincarnation, which means I believe my soul has lived and will live many lives before and after the one. (A lot less scary than hell, trust me.) The knowledge my soul has gained is invaluable, but taping into that resource is like mining for gold. Sometimes you get lucky and hit the mother load. Other times, you spend most of your life never reaching more than a treasured nugget. (I love metaphors.) I won’t know which person I am until my death bed. Therefore I am going to keep digging and hoping one day I tap into that knowledge to better improve the quality of this life time. On that same thought, I also think that the reason some people don’t ever get the mother load is because they need to learn new lessons that haven’t learned yet. I get a feeling things used to more openly handed to me and I never really got far in my lifetimes. Why? Instinct tells me that I am facing some obstacles for the first time. I hope one of those is longevity in this lifetime.

I will leave my readers with this thought: What are your beliefs and have you revisited them recently? Sometimes we get so disconnected with the hustle and bustle of every day’s obligations. Sit down and think to your self why you are here. You might find a great weight lifted off your chest. Remember though, no matter your beliefs, you are in control of your life. Don’t give that power up to any one else, no matter their status.

Word-Mash-Ups Rock!

Good Morning Blog! I woke up this morning ready to start the day. It’s been a while since I was a morning person. And, wait for it…wait…I was singing. I immensely enjoy singing. It has been a while since I sang. The best times to sing are when you have a theme in mind. Like, if I am on a mission, I always hum the mission impossible song. It’s also my “I’m doing something wrong right now” go to hum, as well. Or if I just got handed a pile of work or received some slightly unsettlingly news, I love to hum “Another one bites the dust”. But nothing, absolutely nothing tops my happy song; Kokomo by the beach boys.

Try singing it right now. Are you smiling? This is why it’s my happy song. I have to admit, that I do have another all time favorite song. I have noticed that I always sing this song when the past is on my mind. I view this song as a representation of my child hood. Silly really, because this song has nothing to do with the way I was raised. Surprisingly, I learned it was my sister’s song from our child hood as well. Ready for it? Mr. Jones by counting crows. I know, silly. I was raised in the 90’s and I guess I remember it being on the radio a lot at a crucial part of my development. And I thought the song was Mr. Jones chosen me vs. Mr. Jones and me; lol, good times. Karaoke, I promise I can and will sing this song verbatim. And if you know me at all, you know my memory usually fails me.

Did-you-know, there is a word for there not being a word to describe something. Do you know this word? I do. I was watching a segment of the Jimmy Kimmel show on Hulu yesterday and he did this pretty fun skit where he was fake marketing his new “exertainment” routine with famous starlets.



Every other word was a made up word by combing two real words. Hottie body humpilates, antisappointment, exersclusive, partiovascular and ridiculawesome are a few of the hilarious word combos he uses. This is how I explain Jen-glish; my native tongue. Sometimes, the English language just hasn’t created a word that exactly describes what I want to say. I have no desire to speak more than I have to…sometimes. A wise man, in my life, refers to them as Jen-isms. They sound like real words. I think Word-Mash-ups are becoming the norm though. I have googled a few and it appears it’s trending; Jimmy Kimmel being the example here. I’d love to learn a new language, but I could see a cruel butchering occurring. Not to mention a slight English mash-in. They call that Enrish if you have the right accent.

Speaking of trending… Twitter? I can not see the appeal of reading a stranger’s every thought. Perhaps if I were a stalker and my prey were tweeting… maybe. How is twitter different than blogging, you ask.

1. I can use more characters. 
2. I am not necessarily typing my every thought; technically, I am conversating, one sided, to the world. 
3. I would be surprised to learn if anyone other than family is even reading this blog. 

My life is interesting to me and family members I don’t talk to nearly enough. Family is important, but sometimes life just gets in the way. Back to twitter, before I fall into another tangent. I actually have a twitter account. I haven’t logged onto it for a very long time because I lost interest within a few hours. It’s probably under Odizus if you care to see my one or two posts.

TANGENT ALERT: If you see an “Odizus” somewhere online, there is a very high chance it is me. Except on political forums where my name is used falsely to attack friends of mine. Real mature, I know. (Here’s a clue, I’m a girl highly disinterested in politics.) Maybe one day I will tell you how I came about this name, maybe.

Why the sudden interest in Twitter? The Oscars, dun dun dunnnn! I no longer have cable, so in order to watch the famous red carpet I had to watch online. The next morning, every talk show was talking about how James Franco, one of the hosts, was tweeting almost every moment including camera phone footage. Stupid twitter. My only relief is that I didn’t pay $.99 for the Oscar app on my phone. Oh well… perhaps I will revisit Twitter if I am brain washed enough by the Sprint commercials. Too bad their extremely horrible customer service trumps any subliminal broadcasting. That’s right, I said it. Sprint, you don’t complete me; only Daft Punk does.

I would love to carry on, but I have an actual mission today. *Starts humming the mission impossible theme song”… I am going to a work shop on how to write a successful resume. I keep telling myself that I am going so I can receive praise on my hard work. And then my other shoulder is telling me that I am going to have them put my ego in check so I can actually create a worthy resume. Either way, I am going. Then possible coffee with a friend of a friend. I need to branch out and explore the different types of people in the world. There is more in the world than just me and my cat, so I am told. No, I am not a crazy cat lady. My one cat is family to me. Chubha per the previous mommy, Chooba or Chewbacca to me. Named for being a chubs… she’s an eater. In a lot of ways, she is exactly like me. We both love our food, love to be grumpy, want what we want now, love our space and both love the color orange. Ok, the last one could be false, but she has more orange in her fur since she became my child 3? years ago. I think she is 6… possible Libra or Sagittarius.

Any who, happy Tuesday readers! I will leave you with this thought: When, as a friend, can you cross the line of honesty and cruelty? It’s one thing to tell someone the truth…an entirely different thing to hurt their feelings or worse, kill their dreams. What do you think?

Here I go, in Ink no less

I realize as I compose this, to cite the movie, the social network

“The internet is not written in pencil Mark, it’s written in ink.”

You reach a point in your life where you stop caring what the world thinks and just start living. Every day I am searching for the best part of me. Hoping I can use a simple excuse for my failures; like how we only ever tap into a small percentage of our brain’s potential. However, only you make you who you are today. As a wise man in my life constantly reminds me, you create your own reality. I retorted back in my youth saying that if this were true, I would be a popular cheerleader. I was 15. Ten years later and I can confidently tell you that I could have been a popular cheer leader if only I wanted to work for it. I have also learned that nothing in this world is achieved just because you want it. I must confess my laziness. I dream of a world where things are brought at my beck and call; much like the Egyptian queens back in the day. Gorgeous and powerful, how envious am I.

Life for me is full of hard lessons. Unpaid bills to a soap opera love life. I am not complaining, but it is clear I desired these things when I set out on my journey to get what I want with the smallest amount of effort as possible. Myself like others often realize too late that with a lot more effort, our lives could’ve immensely improved. Case in point, the use of the word could. Could, would, should are words constantly haunting my vocabulary.

It is all relative though, because the path that has happened has in fact already happened. Besides the fact that the world has not yet presented a time machine for commercial use (god only knows what the world militaries are capable of) but if we were to change the smallest moment, who knows what butterfly effect could occur. Some say that if we had taken out Hitler, his high commander could have taken his place. We lost a lot of people to their cause. Who is to say more or less people would’ve died if Hitler was taken out sooner? I use this example because this used to be my counter argument for the possible future use of time machines. It was brought to my attention one day, the cruelty of Hitler’s high commander and his being next in line to take over the movement. I guess we already know that didn’t actually happen when Hitler did die. But who knows what would’ve happened earlier on in his reign. We can not change the past, and if we could, why should we?

Someone who dreads their past actions is inadvertently telling their self and the world how much they hate them selves. Change, in any form, changes you, even by the slightest. You think telling me the latest gossip is delightful, but it changes my opinion of the people in the gossip. I could live my entire life with out knowing that Suzie’s husband is allowed a monthly prostitute because he can’t get it up any more with out this compromise. In this sentence, I learned several things I should not have known unless both Suzie and her husband told me directly with means of advice or a request. Now when I look at Suzie, I see despair and no self-respect. Now when I see her husband, I think pig and judge him harsher than if he had told me directly. Logical? Hell no. It makes no sense once so ever, unless you are thinking from a respect point of view. Maybe I respect his honesty and submission to me for help more than I disapprove of his actions. The same with Suzie.

I can not lie. A friend came to me with their own personal Suzie situation, slightly different, as there were no real attachments. Over time, I took Suzie’s honesty to heart and I could no longer stand by and watch my friend go against every moral fiber in my body. I often worry that I was jealous. She does have a more adventurous life style than I could ever imagine living. Sometimes I wonder if my own unclear feelings for her were my source of jealousy. But mostly, I wonder why our talks meant nothing. I did confront this person, but how do you say “Stop telling me your life story every day” and how does one respond. There should be no secrets between best friends. However, I think you can with hold facts without lying. The scary part is that I was the exact same way. I treated her like my personal diary. Telling her things I probably would not have ever written privately let alone share with a living person. I cut ties with this person once I realized her negativity brought out my negativity. This is what I tell me self. No person is with out sin and yet I constantly cast stones. I miss this person every day and I know she misses me. This is good news because it means we can rebuild this burnt bridge. We just can’t do that right now.

I’m telling you my deepest, darkest thoughts because sometimes you simply need opinion on them. I know that I am not crazy or delusional, but I also know that no matter how much you love seclusion, we all need human interactions. I often flee human interactions blaming them or saying how much I love my solitude. How much of that is true and how much of that is a load. I am often rejected by my peers. My opinions are not politically correct or I do not understand appropriate conversation for the given moment; or my favorite, open mouth-insert foot. Either way, it is easier for me to reject than to be rejected. I will say though, I do enjoy my solitude, immensely. Call it a coping mechanism if you like, but to me, this is my life.

What upsets me the most about my life is my self appointed status. There are two types of people in every scenario. The giver, the taker. The right, the wrong. The half empty, the half full. The two types I am thinking of are the leader and the follower. I have spent so much time trying to lead only finding my self always following someone else. This is why I could not be around the negativity. It really does come out of me when my leader exudes it themselves. I said at the beginning of this much too long blog that I was looking for the best part of me. Really, I am looking for the leader inside me. Why do I have to be a follower? If America says to me, that I can be any one I want to be, then I would like to be free. Free of my own chains. It’s mental though, motivation. Without obligation, I find my self sleeping, waiting. I have a messy house and yet getting out of bed is the biggest chore I face daily. WHY? I leave you with this question in hopes you have the answer. If I knew, I would not be in bed typing this right now.

Day 1, 11:10 AM

Hello. 


I guess I'm a little scared to start a blog. People tend to tell these horrific tales, around the water cooler, about past bloggers. Turns out, a lot of people are easily offended by any sort of passion or strong point-of-view. I would never say that it's my way or the high way. I just like sharing my point-a-view. Especially with a group of people. Then you can explore the different point-of-view of that group. The same goes with any subject among a group of debaters. 


Sex, religion, politics... why are they taboo, when they are so interesting. Although, I'd rather not talk about all three at once. Like, if Bush had a Jesus shaped butt plug... That may be too funny a topic to get out with out sudden burst of laugher. But we all know that Bush was never that cool. ;-) I wonder what Michelle Obama has in her closet? I guess I don't really, but the Obama-mania has become over whelming. They are normal people. Why do we enjoy watching their every move? Like "what is Michell wearing this week?" Probably something professional, age appropriate and yet stylish because she is a great representation of the perfect first lady.


Any who, I let an internal tangent take me...It's so easy when typing is ten times easier than hand script. I heard they are taking hand script out of schools and making typing a bigger focus! We already have a problem with handwriting in the medical field, now we are tying to make it a problem for every field? I enjoy writing a lot. Especially when I have a great pen. I love orange pens, write that down. Orange pens to Jen for Christmas. Don't Quote me on any of this. I heard it on the radio, and we know how tricky memory can be. Especially mine! I hope it's not true though. 


I'm yawning... a lot. I am so exhausted. I would love to type more on my first entry, but perhaps I should continue another day. I could make a blog with a theme or topic and with actual proof to back up my comments. I am thinking I will discuss: 

Initiative Measure No. 1100 concerns liquor (beer, wine and spirits).

This measure would close state liquor stores; authorize sale, distribution, and importation of spirits by private parties; and repeal certain requirements that govern the business operations of beer and wine distributors and producers. 

Should this measure be enacted into law for the state of Washington? 

What says you?