First off, I do not like your attitude. I cannot fathom why
your mother failed to teach you manners. Your intelligence cannot be very high
if you are camping out on CL just to get a rise out of people. You clearly do
not understand what an IP address is, as it is only a matter of time before you
anger a computer savvy person who could look into your whereabouts. Not to
mention that you can be held accountable for everything that is posted on the
internet. Nothing is ever erased.
Why am I using my time and energy to even address these trolls?
- They do not go away. You can ignore them until you are blue in the face. They are a plague without a cure. A fungus without cream. Roaches after a nuclear war.
- Everyone needs a cause. Some people feed starving kids in Africa. Some people save abused pets. I am taking a stand on trolls.
I have a retort for every stupid post; all with the same hidden message. Can’t say anything nice, do not speak/type at all. Maybe if I say it enough times in enough ways, it will take root. That’s what my step father did to me. There are some lessons I can’t forget, all of which taught me to be a better person. Sure, I am using a little of their own tactics to fight back, name calling and such, but desperate times call for desperate measures. You don’t fight fire with air. You fight it with fire.
I could post this to rants and raves and elicit many replies
from trolls, bullies and other riff raff. Or this could be the start to the
re-launch of my blog. I loved blogging once. It was the highlight of my
day/week. It had to die though. I never lied on my blog. As a result, too much
of me was on display for the world to see. Things you only share with close
ones because you trust them not to use your pain and weaknesses against you. I
am also glad to start posting again because of some funny dialogue on Futurama.
Bender told Lela to calm down and that she could vent about it on her blog
later. Bender the robot, Brian the dog, Roger the alien– the great and wise characters of my generation. I
am going to vent here. Smile, I am funny. (no, really.)
- Bus stop smoker bringing you one step closer to lung cancer? Don’t fret blog about it.
- Retail cashiers insisting you answer their greetings and questions? Don’t fret blog about it.
- Bicyclist not sure whether they should cut off pedestrians or vehicles? Don’t fret blog about it.
- Ice causing a mass city shut down with no transportation solutions and an empty fridge? Don’t fret blog about it.
- Old lady on the bus opening and retying her same loud crinkly grocery bag to obtain a tiny piece of finger food every 3 minutes? Don’t fret blog about it.
- Public cell phones? Don’t fret blog about it.
I won’t always rant though. The story of Jen, although long,
is not all negative. I see unbelievably acts of kindness in Seattle too. I once
witnessed a woman drop her wallet right next to a group of gang dressed kids.
One of them picked it up and chased after it to return it. Proving that you
cannot judge a book by its cover, although, you should be weary – better to be
safe than sorry. Also, it is much harder to find inspiration in things that
make me happy. Happiness, although enjoyable, does not yield enough passion. My
words need to represent me and I am a passionate person. As I have always said,
I don’t go half way.
I recently watched an interview with Adele. All her music
was written when the love of her life broke her heart. It is a dang good album
in deed. But she worries if she can write a second album now that she is so
deeply in love with a new beau. I would feel the same way about my blog. What
would I write about? Rainbows and butterflies? Pass. There are enough of the
glass is half full people out there. There are also enough the glass is half
empty people are out there. I am the glass. I can fill it any way I choose.
Half air, half water? ¼ water ¾ air? How about some good Seattle coffee, hold
the air. ^_^ I doubt anyone is 100% negative or positive. It is a day to day
experience that cannot be averaged because you are too biased about yourself and
others are not with you all the time of every day of your life. The point is
that whoever made up the glass theory just wanted to make people feel good or
worse about their current mood or life situation.
Carpe Diem; it is not just a saying, but a life style. Live
every day. Not necessarily like it is your last, but as someone who just wants
to experience life. Obtain knowledge, worship your temple (body) and laugh.
Love should be in there somewhere too, but you can live a full life without
love. Who knows, maybe this will be the lifetime that I do. I would choose that
fate than to be coupled with someone I don’t love more than myself. I’m vain,
sue me. But I think that should be true for everyone. You should want to be their
other half. If they are hurt, you are hurt. If they are in the way of a bullet,
you are pushing them out of harm’s way. If they are smiling, it is because they
can share their happiness with you. If they are mad, you are helping them leave
that mood behind. If they are sad, you literally magically turn that frown
upside down. Love is magic and not everyone has it or will find it. But I will
not ever settle or give up. Magic has a way of finding you. Leading you down
the path you have chosen and hoping you take the time to smell the roses. Who
knows, maybe your love is smelling them too.
Well, I have been down enough tangents for today. I always
love just typing out the words that come to mind while I am thinking on a topic.
Just typing; not really altering the road of where the thoughts are taking me.
It can be a fun but long journey. At the end, I always have a message. Be as
kind as you can. It can be hard to show kindness in a hateful world. But just
try and see what doors (and windows) open up for you.
In case you ever read my previous blog entries, I didn't delete those posts, I simply hid some of them. Ok, over half, but I left the ones that were not so personal. I have 43 posts but I am only showing 16 .... dun dun dunnnnnn. They were and are still some of my
proudest displays of hidden intelligence, ever. If you know me in person, you
know that I have issues pronouncing words, even if I can sound it out in my head; I can't think of the word I
want to use; I often use the wrong word or combine words to make up Jenglish; I often lose train of thought on an internal tangent which misrepresents
what I wanted to rely in the first place in an argument or conversation. But
here, on paper or on my computer, I can be smart. I can use the words I hear in
my head and I have time, without pressure to succeed or be impressive, to use
the words I want to use. No room for embarrassment or misrepresentation. I can
be me. I can breathe and speak freely. Whew, and it feels good.
-Odizus
P.s. I missed you love. <3
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