Censor this #$%$#@%#$%$# !

WARNING: I'm about to vent... yes, I know, but I wanted to give you the option to skip my whinning, lol.

I get so tired of all the effin’ censor ship. I understand not offending some one, but some people are beyond sensitive. It’s like they are projecting their own unhappiness to others. I just started posting on a forum centered around a favored author and I am finding her fan base of old unhappy house wives/husbands annoying. (I didn’t marry my high school sweet heart choosing love over education only to poop out 3 ungrateful brats and find my husband in bed with my best friend of 20 years….) I understand why favored author has readers that are 40 plus, but c’mon.

One of my posts was deleted for violating rule “2a” which I guess has to do with cursing or improper language. I looked at the post. It was on a “what are you listening to right now” troll thread and I posted a video link to you tube video for the Neon Tree’s “Boys and Girls” song with a note saying “And I thought Animal was an awesome song…” Yes, so many violations were broken here. :ROLLEYES: I looked at the moderator’s posts in the same thread, the one who deleted my post and then sent me an email to let me know how improper I was; it’s clear she didn’t like my taste in music because she was posting old people music. (I say it, what!) I feel discriminated against. If it were a forum that I was actually enjoying, I might fight the rigid “b” word, but “frankly my dear, I just don’t give a damn.”

This is the second post of mine to be deleted because I violated some ridiculous rule in the eyes of some hobbiless old person. Well here’s a news flash, I don’t need to socialize with a fan base to enjoy someone’s product. In fact, further I am away from the crazies, the better. I just effin’ hate censorship. Makes me want to curse and flip people off. It’s like yelling at someone for cursing with a curse word in your reprimanding. YOU MAKE ME WANT TO GIVE YOU A REASON TO CENSOR ME.I grumbled about it all morning as I got ready for work. I am usually a “fudge” this or “shiza dushku” kind of person. (I make up my own curse words or use happier substitutes.) But this morning, I was going sailor mouth McGee with F bombs and C nicknames… How dare you modify my freedom of speech to fit your own repression! It’s about the only thing I don’t like about Japan. I said it, repression makes me sick. How can your soul breathe if it can’t be it self? I’m sure there are tons of other repressed things that make me sick, and maybe it’s because I’m a loud mouth American, but sheesh.

I mostly had to vent this because I thought I would explode with unfulfilled expectations of a fan base for an author who practically wrote the book on vampire smut. You think they would be more open…Normally, I wouldn’t be into vampire smut, but 1. The books started out pretty whole some, almost frustratingly good. And 2. The lead heroin is a woman after my own heart. Out spoken, rules are basically meant for everyone else… you know, a kick ass American woman. YAY! The double standard of this world is enough to create agoraphobia in seemingly normal individuals. No more lame forum for me…I got my blog, it completes me.

Although I have posted this video before, I just wanted you to see the kind of “improper” material I was posting online, again:

Don't let the man hold you down, BREAK FREE!

Be you, because if you don't, who will?

"Ohhhh, how long 'till your surrender? It's a long way for heartbreak - but your heart wait and bleeds"  

I’ve decided that I want to be me ever if it means I am missing out on some opportunity. At the end of the day, if I am not me, who am I? I try not to regret life, because regret means I would have changed something. Change in any form would make me slightly different than I am today. And since I can’t change what has already happened, I am satisfied with the eggs that have already hatched. Really, I am. Sometimes I just need to say it out loud so that I remember. Some paths chosen in life aren’t the prettiest or easiest. However, if they are the choices you can proudly stand behind, who cares. I am a sucker for quotes, especially quotes that sound confusing or wise. I heard one in a movie recently, and technically, it’s just a play on words; a pun. But I fell in love with it. It makes me feel like getting a cause. I obviously can’t save the world, but maybe I can pick “one” thing worth saving and move from there. The quote I am talking about is from the new movie “Sucker Punch”. I saw it during its opening weekend and it blew me away. I heard a lot of people complaining about the movie afterwards, but I guess it wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. It did better over seas, which tells me a lot about Americans. Ok, I’m stalling a little for suspense, the quote was:

“If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.” Via the wise man from the movie.

It got me thinking though. You could say that I do fall for any and everything, at times. Is it because I lost my passion for life? Have I lost my passion? Do I need a cause? I don’t know, but I am going to live today thinking that I want to stand so I don’t fall. I think that is the best any one can do until they have found their mission; whether it’s your life mission or a mission of the moment. The important thing is taking what you have, and making the best of it. I’m not being pessimistic; I hope that I am being a realist. I hope that I am seeing the world the way it truly is, versus the way I wish it was.

I guess what spurred this thought in me was my recent chatting with strangers online. I got asked the “what do you look like” question and I thought to my self, “Well, I guess I could sugar coat the inevitable…” Before I knew it though, I was deleting everything I typed and writing what I would say to someone standing in front of me. The internet shouldn’t be a place you hide. It should be the place you would be if you were at a coffee shop, in line at the grocery store, waiting for the bus. The point is, be you. Be proud, there is probably not another one of “you” – thank gawd, lol. And if people don’t like what they see, then it’s a mutual loss. I wouldn’t hide standing in front of you and I won’t hide online behind “odizus”. My name defines me, but doesn’t entail all of me. It’s a big part of who I am and who I have become, but at the end of the day, it’s an alias. I am just a Jen, one “n”. ;-)

I hope my post today inspires you to be you. I am going to be me today and I am going to hope that I can show all the best parts of me before the day ends. (I only got 4 hours of sleep again insomnia… but I can work it…thank you coffee.)

Smile, the sun only rises and sets once a day; make sure to see at least one so you don’t regret missing these precious moments we take for granted. And if you missed them, stop and smell a flower. You might find it smells better than you remember. Unless you have my allergies and then it smells worse, lol. Point? Have fun!

(YES, the neon trees obession is still going strong!)

Two in One Day? AWESOME!

Odizus Means


In 2001, I was in summer school for 10th grade algebra (I think it was 2001 at least). I met a girl named Megan. She was a raver and at the time, I had no idea what this was, except cool(I later became a raver for the rest of my high school career). She came to me one day during class and said you shall be odiz from this day fourth and you will spell it O-D-I-Z. It was funny, but I didn’t think any thing of it. A few months later I was creating my yahoo screen name for online pool and I thought, oh crap, I need a good name. I tired a few that played with my real name but I hated them all. And then it hit me, I was named Odiz. Unfortunately, Odiz was taken by someone from Sweden. (Yea, I haven’t forgotten buddy!) So I sat and thought about what I could add to the name to make it mine with out adding numbers. Then it hit me! Who was looking for a screen name? Me, myself and I = us. Thus Odizus was created. My dad likes to make fun of me saying I misspelled odessyus, that Greek king from Ithaca and Google likes to ask me if I mean odious…lol.


Edited in: Ok, I have been thinking about it and I think it was 9th grade... I specifically remember being in gemotry class when the world trade center was hit... And you have to pass algebra to get into geomtry... I tell you, my memory is failing me... FAILING ME... There it's off my chest!!!!!

1983 is calling!

A Life in Need of an Update, Curse You Book of Faces...

I've got these habits that I can not, I've got these habits that I can't. I've got these habits that I can not ...

B R E A K ... 

Well, it’s official. I think I have a new favorite book. I just finished reading Laurell K. Hamilton’s “Skin  Trade”. It has to be her best work. Then again, I haven’t read the next novel in the series, “Bullet”… or the new one coming out in June, “Hit List”. I thought I was falling out of love with LHK’s work because it became a little too smutty; to the point where I couldn’t get through a chapter with out feeling the fire loins affect. It’s nice to see the actual story back, better than ever. I am glad she found that middle ground between story and smut. J I can enjoy both worlds with out the negative side effects of either, YAY! I didn’t mean to finish the book so quickly, but every word brought on more and more insomnia in me. I had to devour it before it devoured me. He he he. I’m glad that I did. The ending came so quick though. I was in the midst of a very exciting scene and then bam, the end. Lol, feels a little like life I guess. I want to read it again; maybe I missed something. My speed reading can miss whole paragraphs in my excitement.

It was a good time to find such an awesome read. I have been so sick for the last week and a half. I missed most of work last week. It’s not like me to miss work, even sick. But through my severe flu like symptoms, I guess I forgot to eat and I couldn’t move because of it. I was a little scared. Never felt weak in my life. I did a little research and it seems I went into some kind of sugar shock. Scary. But as soon as I started stuffing electrolytes down my throat, I could suddenly make a fist again. It’s the little things in life. I’m done being vegetarian. Three months was fun, but I need my “real” protein. I will increase my activity and it should fix anything thing I may have worried about. So win win. I thought eating was hard before, try taking meat and dairy out of the equation and it’s like putting a panda in the desert. Pandas only eat bamboo, I think, lol. Before I start changing things, I lived off mostly cheese and chicken; literally. It has definitely been a learning experience and I hope I learned something invaluable. I’m not going back to “just” cheese and chicken, but I can’t wait to try my first rare steak in months either. Drool.

And let me tell you what sick has done for my appearance… ever hear of a reverse make over? Yea, it’s that bad. More beast than beauty. I’m glad that a day where I actually feel more like old Jen finally came. I plucked them eye brows and poured just about every acne medicine I owned on my facial wreck. Pretty Jen is peeking through a little, yay! You think you are over vanity concerns until you catch a glimpse of your self in a window reflection and think, “Where’s the hunch back?” For me, my weakness is eye brows. I could be the prettiest girl in the room and if I had untidy eye brows, it wouldn’t be true to me. Stupid brows. Sometimes I wish I had the courage to shave them and just have them tattooed on, but Nah. I will just suffer with the rest of America and keep waxing them.

I am still obsessed with Neon Trees. Every song is better than the last. I woke up this morning humming 1983. The songs don’t have very many lyrics and the tunes are fairly simple. They just have that addicting “it” factor. I don’t know what it is or how you can get it…but I know when I hear it. It doesn’t hurt that the lead singer is really cute and has a hypnotic voice. Great, all I am missing now is all my band paraphernalia and an uncontrollable urge to scream at the band every time they are seen in public… Pass. I will just dance around my house with a fake microphone. It works for me. I feel like I found Paramore all over again. I heart you Haley Williams… ultimate dream? Paramore plays a set with Neon Tress, possible? A girl can dream.

Well the diary addition of “shiza Jen may or may not remember accurately” is complete. I had to get it out of my system. I turned off my face book and let me tell you how much has been on my chest since that went down. A bunch. Stupid mind controlling book of faces! Good times... Be well readers and eat better, you deserve it. :D 

Would ever dance with me like that? 

I can't Just post to post, I need inspiration to hear my words

Questions for questions, I've got a question.

...I don't want your lover...

So beautiful it creates an emotion you thought you lost. I have been lost. I started this blog to get over my past and live my life. I wanted to blog every day. Everything I loved turned to dust and I… I started to fade into my own bad memory. I had a song stuck in my head. I don’t know where I heard it. I had to hear it again. When I need to hear a song though, I need to hear it over and over again until my brain is satisfied. So, I downloaded the entire album. Butterflies! I haven’t felt this way in a long time. I feel sad. I feel mad. But to feel love. You can love a film, you can love a song, and you can love the weather. But can a song make you fall in love with your future before you have met it? Neon trees. I feel the butterflies that you get when you are falling in love.  Wishes I knew this love. And then I remember, I don’t look for love, love looks for me. I know I am not ready, but I guess you could say that life throws the best surprises at you when you least need them. I hear their words and they reach my soul. I want to jump up and down and sing every word with them. Simple like haiku but so much more is there. I feel young. I feel sexy. I feel like me before I was 23. Before I learned too much about the world. The point where you decide if this knowledge will affect me negatively. It doesn’t have to.... Dying is easy and life is hard because it has to. I don’t think life wants to be hard. It just wants to make survivors. I didn’t know how much I wanted to survive until now. You can live and just be an existence. Or you can live this one life likes it’s the only one you have. Even with reincarnation, each life is still the only one life of that life you will live. Live it grandly! Play me down a lover. Like we are under cover. Words are so amazing. Rhymes create a sensation in me that others would call euphoria. Although, I appear to have a jen-ism disorder, words bring me great pleasure. So much power. I am learning that keeping quiet is almost like foreplay. You, the out spoken goddess playing coy. Imagine the power. And although I love words, the less you say, the more you are actually saying. Nothing speaks louder than eyes. The eyes are the windows to the soul, but words are the door. Yes, I am a walking contradiction. Why do I have to pick just one fact and stick to it. These are a few of my favorite things… great memories are only a tune away. Music has saved my life time and time again. When it’s just me and me, down in the doldrums, struggling with my identity…another life saving opportunist is born to remind me why I chose to be here, still. I no longer need the fear of a false deity. Movies show us that love is stronger than hate. Thank you neon trees. I am finding myself and you have inspired emotion in me again. I can write words that feel like my body and soul are one, working together for a common goal. Yes! 

http://youtu.be/C36HAs5dWTk

Are you a Good witch or a Bad witch?

Woo! The last two days has been a serial killer marathon for me. (No, I’m not killing anyone; I couldn’t imagine the guilt.) I have been watching Criminal Minds. I am a huge fan of CSI, but if I knew there was a show based on the inner thinking’s of serial killers… just wow. They even reference real known serial killers when creating profiles for their faux story line killers. I’ve had to Google a few of their stories because they seem so realistic. This show has really altered my view on Serial Killers. I used to think these types of killers were special from the rest of the psychos out there. Plus, I forgot that serial can simply mean more than one (Not necessarily 20+); or in the case of one episode, one kill with very unique and distinctive murder signatures.

And Yes, I am learning how to avoid becoming a victim. Even if you can’t avoid this, what the key to escaping could be. Every situation is different, but wouldn’t it better to be killed fighting than sitting like a lamb to slaughter? Pft. I recall one episode that made me so angry. The killer was targeting couples, where the husband was considered to be an alpha and the female, a trophy wife. While the killer was attacking, one of the husbands was able to get the advantage using his legs in a martial art technique with his hands handcuffed behind his back. It was really impressive. While this was happening, we see a gun in the night stand drawer and the wife is sitting in a corner crying. Idiot. If she had simply put her self together and grabbed the gun, they both could’ve lived. I realize this is a story and it was going to play out according to the script. However, I can’t help thinking of all the idiot emotional ridden women out there... Survive or die. You think the choice would be simple. *Shakes head in disappointment*

There was one episode I could’ve seen myself in, maybe, 10 years ago. It was a father daughter kidnap where the fathers were forced to fight bums to protect their daughters. The loser of the fight was executed. If you know my dad, you know this is not a likely scenario. My dad is a very strong man, not easily over come. But let’s say someone got the jump on us on one of our outings when I was 16. I know, it’s still really hard to picture because I was raised with the mantra “There’s no such thing as a fair fight”, but just close your eyes and try. I can promise you that I would not be sitting chained up discussing my feelings; and neither would my dad. Honestly, I have noticed that most victims are weak in character under the assumption that everyone’s willing to help. You will not find these words in my vocabulary. People are either wolves in sheep’s clothing or sheep; and there are more wolves than sheep. Every time the father and daughter were chained up again, the daughter would sit there and cry while the father fell asleep in pain from the fights. Lame. It’s like the daughter sees how fragile she could be and gives up before even trying. I know guns are scary, but isn’t it scarier to be controlled? It would natural for me to trust my dad would get us out of the situation; but I would also be relying on my self to get us out too. I can’t imagine that I would simply wait to die or that I would watch my father almost die several times. In fact, my imagination sees us never making it into those chains, just saying.

A lot of people make this same mistake. “This will never happen to me.” But how many people say “When this happens, I will be ready.” A realist would; a person who knows to yell “fire” when a rape or an attack is happening right in front of them. People only care when they foresee their own circumstances in danger. A fire can spread fast. Otherwise, they don’t want their lives interrupted. If I try to help, will I be dragged in? Will I have to answer to police? Will I have to miss work? It’s easy to see why people act as if they are ignorant to their surroundings. And it is also the different between doing what’s right vs. what’s easy.

I don’t tell many people this story because I get a lot of mixed reactions. I was 20 at the time, visiting Canada. If you live in the US, you know the drinking age is 21. If you live near the Canadian border, you know the drinking age in Canada is 19. Two of my friends and I decided to go out and explore. We had arrived and checked into a local hotel already. On our way to the main strip of Vancouver, my best friend wanted to get some cash out of the ATM.  Mean while, I was people watching. I had just witnessed a series of people crossing at a crosswalk. One couple decided to run a blinking red hand signal as a car was impatiently trying to turn the corner. I guess the people in the car felt like this couple disrespected them somehow, so all four thugs jump out of the car and start walking towards the couple yelling profanities. I turn to my two friends and the both say to me, just ignore it. Shocked, I turn back around to see one of the thugs has grabbed the man preparing him for the other thug to hit him. I started running towards them screaming. They see me coming, hit the guy once and then they all jumped in the car to drive off. The attacked man pulls him self up and starts to walk off with his partner. At this point, I am at a lost of what to do next because I am a foreigner in a different country. In America, I would’ve dialed 911 as I ran. But in Canada, I was lost. So I just turned around and walked back to my friends. Both of them were irritated with me for embarrassing my self like that. I was upset that I didn’t know how else to help and that my friends were to willing to over look a crime like that. 

This was the start of a horrible weekend in which I didn’t talk to those two friends for a long while once we got back home. I know that bystander man would have been beat in public had I not been there. I don’t think they were scared of me. I think they were acting out an angry impulse and I was an unknown factor interrupting. Perhaps it was because I am a girl. I find that most men, thugs or not, view women abuse as a form of male weakness. I have been able to break up a series of male on male fights throughout my life because few men will hit a woman. Lucky for me, I always go in knowing I could take a hit. I also know that I have a bad temper and I will see red once I am hit. One of the few traits I actually thank my mother for giving me. Adrenaline has a way of increasing your power even if you are the weaker person. Plus, I do not fear conflict. In fact, I fear passive aggression more. I can deal with a direct attack, the non direct are not so easy. 

Watching this show the past couple of days has reaffirmed my self worth again. Letting me know that I am a god person regardless of my personality defects. I may not always be socially accepted, but I know where I belong. I know that I need to be doing what’s right because some day, I may need someone to come to my rescue. And furthermore, I have to look at the face that allowed an injustice if I do not do all that I can.

I want to leave my readers with this: What would you have done differently? Have you been in a similar situation before? It’s easy to sit here and talk about the what ifs and should haves. But when it’s you, a moment away from being a help or a hinder, which do you actually choose to do? These scenarios are what separate the good people from the bad people. You think living a life with out ever committing a crime is good enough. Sometimes it is; but watching a crime happen makes you just as responsible. CORRECTED: It’s related to the Good Samaritan law; called "Duty to Rescue". Google it, you may face these charges if you are the type to “ignore” your surroundings and I hope you do. 

/end Rant.  

Honestly? What else is there to do on a Sunday?

If you can't laugh at your self, why bother laughing. :-D

This message was approved by Odizus.

Odizus will return tomorrow with a real post. Inspiration is often not sought after, but stumbled upon.

If you have some inspiration to shoot my way, leave me a comment, send me an e-mail or just Google the heck outta me. Either way, you have my digital digits. he he he. :)

Sun, it does exist?

Rain, Rain, go away…

Do you ever wake u happy to see a change in weather? I have this multicolored Orangey curtain pinned to cover the many front windows of my door. This morning, the sun was shining through it and it was gorgeous! It’s strange how our tastes mutate in such tiny ways when we are improving our selves. I love rain; it’s a fact about me. But there is something about the cold rain that has just been ruined for me. I am actually longing for the sun. GASP! I can’t believe I just said that. I have been anti-sun for so long. On the road to be being a more positive person, you just leave behind some of the pleasures that comforted you as a negative nelly or what I justified as a “Realist”.

Regardless of Seattle’s choice to rain during its coldest points every year, I still love this town. Non-locals never believe me when I say that we actually have droughts and fire bans in the summer. In fact, most work consumed locals don’t agree either. Just open your eyes and pay attention. We actually get highs in the 100’s that stay pretty steady through July and August. Sometimes it doesn't rain for a month or more and even when it rains, it’s for 5 minutes. I’d say that Seattle has a little bit of everything for everyone. But that doesn't mean we need more rain haters moving here. We get rain, don’t like it, move outta my city. :D  YAY, more room for Odizus!

I will leave you with this, are you a a Seattlite who loathes rain? Do you carry an umbrella? Be honest. :D I have an emergency umbrella in case it starts pouring or if I am in work attire. I rarely use it though, honest. :) 

Idioms, Clichés and Colloquialisms, OH MY!

It took me a long time to think what to write next. Anime is a hard act to follow ;-)  Instead, I found my muse in one of the best shows to ever hit TV, The Flight of the Conchords. (Awesome kiwi band as well)

"I mean, I’m not – you know – embarrassed to admit this, but I can’t really put my emotions into words, so I’ve decided to use lyrics."

- Murray Hewitt

Murray is the band‘s agent leader guy thingie on the show; so just a funny character. In my favorite episode, Number 7 “Drive By”, Murray tries to express his feelings for the leggy blond tech support person, Jessica. And this is not even the funniest part of the episode. Here is a blog that knows what i'm talking about: Click Me.

I guess I have music on the brain again. I spent a good solid hour singing along to my favorite songs on YouTube last night. That is until I found an actual series of Karaoke videos… Anyone else notice how good we all sound singing along real talent? Lame. And let me just point out how hard it is to stay on beat with the music when it’s just you and the music… Even to Mr. Jones, I kept missing the cues. Extra Lame. I think the key to Karaoke is booze. I’m talking straight whiskey, from the bottle. It’ll put hair on your chest… so they say. I’m just glad this hasn't happened to me, a female.

I think we all know what her drink is/was... 

Ok, you can hear it in my words. I am frustrated. Things just keep going a little different than I have intended lately. I know, I know; never complain. I will say this; a certain phrase comes to mind:

One step forward, two steps back.

Wow, a quick Google search (because I don’t like being wrong) informed me that all these phrases I hold so dear actually have a name. Ready for it? Idioms! Have you ever heard such a cool word? It’s right up there with alliteration and contradiction. Sigh. My pal dictionary dot com can shed some light.

Idiom [id-ee-uhm]: A traditional way of saying something. Often an idiom, such as “under the weather,” does not seem to make sense if taken literally. Someone unfamiliar with English idioms would probably not understand that to be “under the weather” is to be sick.

Even funnier, the synonym for idiom is phrase, lol.  When I looked into the definition of “one step forward, two steps back, it was actually kind of depressing.

Something that you say which means every time you make progress, something bad happens which causes you to be in a worse situation than you were to begin with Every solution we come up with seems to create more problems than it solves, so it's one step forward, two steps back.

http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/One+step+forward,+two+steps+back

I have had some events occur that made all my hard effort appear to be wasted, but rarely putting me in a worse off situation. Luckily, I can use the above cited site to find a more fitting idiom, yay! See, my day is already looking up. A mission at last!

Overall, I found some very funny idioms or what a forum poster referred to as “colloquialisms”. Some were already in my vocabulary to describe other situations I have been in; like beating a dead horse, herding cats or tits on a bull. However, all these wasted effort idioms just don’t do it for me. The search continues! And just in case, dictionary dot com to the rescue, again:

Colloquial [kuh-loh-kwee-uhl]: characteristic of or appropriate to ordinary or familiar conversation rather than formal speech or writing; informal.

Think, if “one step forward, two steps back” had a baby with “having to do a guilt ridden obligation in vain” minus all the negative underlying vibes and that would be my yesterday. It’s ok if you aren’t successful in every mission. It can be hard to deal with if it feels like every mission is going that way. I did have a silver lining in my grey cloud; Or as one could say, a rainbow after the rain.

A special thanks to Jerad for sharing his story with me on the comments of my first Anime blog post. I have heard of Space Battleship Yamato from Daryl Surat on his collaborative pod cast, Anime World Order.

Click Here for AWO Podcast

It sounds like a diamond in the rough for sure!! And is definitely on my list of need to see Anime. I can’t express how happy this comment made me. I started this blog for a lot of reasons, but none are as important as openly discussing my interests with more informed people. Anime fans unite!

A final thought… What silly phrases cheer you up in spite of your circumstances? Does your vocabulary include a lot of phrases that are actually considered to be idioms? I am starting to notice that I am a walking book of common American idioms, clichés and colloquialisms. My grandma and mom were the same. I remember how my mom always said, “close, but no cigar.” I’d say I got the cigar on this post. *Two thumbs up* 

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagan

What is Anime? Dictionary dot com tells us better than I could word it:

Anime [an-uh-mey] is a Japanese style of motion-picture animation, characterized by highly stylized, colorful art, futuristic settings, violence, and sexuality.

People often see just “Cartoons”. Dictionary dot com also has an answer for this.

Cartoon [kahr-toon] is a motion picture consisting of a sequence of drawings, each so slightly different that when filmed and run through a projector the figures seem to move.

Yes, by that definition, Anime is a form of cartoons. I like to think they are more.  

1.  Anime is often not appropriate for children; I am not referring to the Hentai which is an entirely different genera than Anime and is definitely not appropriate for children let alone most adults.
2. Even if the subject matter is age appropriate, children will not fully grasp the concept of the story or the depth of the character development.
3.  Anime is awarded for excellence. Any one see the Academy Award winning movie by Hayao Miyazaki “Spirited Away”? (That’s right, an Oscar for Anime.)

Every avid Anime fan has a gateway series. The series that showed us the way and helped us discover just how cool Japanese Animation really can be. (Mine was Trigun, unless you consider Digimon from my childhood on Saturday mornings.) I love listening to the stories of the pre-internet era fans. About boot leg copies on beta max and VHS sold under the counter at comic book stores straight from Japan. If you didn’t speak Japanese, often you were watching for the pure joy of Anime rather than understanding the story itself. Like today though, there were enough Japanese fans in America to help the rest of us along. From subbing in English to just simply narrating as the story progressed, the 80’s and even part of the 90’s were a very different time than today. Anime clubs were celebrated like a super bowl viewing parties are today, except they were more under ground. Underground, because even back then, Anime was frowned upon. Grown men and few women watching animated “cartoons” from a different country? Tsk Tsk.

I have to admit that I have tried watching some of these celebrated Anime from the past; “Tried” being the operative word. I guess I am just a quality snob. As our technology progressed, so did the quality of the Anime itself. If you are not an Anime fan, you can see the quality difference in films.  A great example of this is Tron vs. Tron: Legacy. WOW is right. I also feel like Anime trends within the time frame it is created. Clothes, hair styles, slang…the 80’s were a very funny time to be alive. If you read forums or listen to pod casts on Anime, Akira is always mentioned as one of the most celebrated Anime of the 80’s. Some even say it’s a landmark in the history of Anime. The line you draw in the sand that says “I’m here to stay buddy.” This film even has a cult following. I have watched it, twice. Maybe I can not get past the quality or maybe the story just doesn’t peak my personal interest. Anime, like comic books are appreciated more by men. Akira is definitely geared towards this audience. This is one of those times that I can not say it better than the internet, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akira_(film), to be exact.

The film is set in a futuristic and post-war city, Neo-Tokyo, in 2019. The film's plot focuses on Shotaro Kaneda, a biker gang member, as he tries to stop Tetsuo Shima from releasing Akira.

What is Akira? Watch the film and find out. You may be surprised.

I am inspired this morning! If you have read my past blogs, you know that inspiration to me means stimulating emotion. No matter how many times I watch my favorite Anime, I still get a rush of emotion when I see the good guy winning; when I hear the awe-inspiring dialogue; but most of all, I feel their pain when things don’t go as planned. Every time I see this series, I find my self either crying or squeaking in delight. Even the music stimulates emotion. Tengen Topp a Gurren Lagann, the best thing since sliced bread. It literally translates to: Heaven Piercing Gurren Lagann. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gurren_Lagann. Even if you never find your self interested in Anime, at least sit down and watch the first episode. I was up late on a Monday night 3 1/2 years ago flipping through cable, trying to sleep when I came across the Sci-fy network, my favorite channel. At 11 every Monday night, I discovered a program called Ani-Mondays, where they showed Anime dubbed in English for the American audience. I caught most of the first episode of Gurren Lagann. One of the characters overused the word “bro” and I was a little taken back by the type of dialogue. Using phrases like “Don’t believe in your self, believe in me. Believe in the Kamina that believes in you.” Silly right? Luckily, Sci-fy aired episode two as well. I continued to watch because I wasn’t sure what I had just witnessed. I remember thinking, “What the heck was that?” I just couldn’t turn it off though.

The series starts out with an odd young man digging tunnels with a handheld drill for his underground village. We don’t know why all humans appear to be primitive and living under ground but we soon find out as the series progresses. The digging boy, Simon, discovers a tiny drill and we are then introduced to his best friend and like-a-brother mentor, Kamina, the village delinquent. Kamina seems to think there is a surface to their underground village and is always trying to find a way to get there. He comes up with a plan and of course, he fails. While Kamina is distracted, sitting in a make-shift jail cell, Simon continues to dig. He finds a giant metal face which appears to be connected to the tiny drill he found at the start of the episode. After digging his way to Kamina to share his find, the story jumps into action as a giant metal monster falls through the ceiling and starts attacking the village. Here we meet, Yoko, a female bad-ass with an electric riffle who follows the monster down into the underground village to defend the people. Yoko, Simon and Kamina all meet at this climatic moment and Simon leads them to his discovery, the giant face in the dirt. Here, Yoko explains that the face looks like a gun man, like the monster they currently trying to defect. Simon shows us that he can jump into what looks like a cock-pit of the face and the tiny drill he found starts to glow. Before we know it, Simon is controlling the mecha and they are able to defeat the bigger gun man. With Kamina and Yoko aboard, Simon burst through the ceiling into the outside unknown world and this is how the first episode ends.

Weird, right? This is a 27 episode series. The first 15 episodes follow along with the whole humans are primitive arch. Then all of a sudden, following a very climatic could-be-ending, the story continues on to a “7 years later” new story arch. Simon is fully grown and humans now live in cities that represent present day Tokyo, even having cell phones, lol! The story’s not over and frankly, it’s even better than the first half. You take away so many wise lessons from this series, like never give up and always do what’s right versus what’s easy. You can also relate so well with at least one character from this series. Although, I consider this to be a feel good Anime, it does not lack in failures. This is definitely a story you could actually see unfolding in real life, if the circumstances were right. (Hopefully we do not ever find our selves living under ground.)  

You can actually watch the entire series on Hulu right now! Take a look and let me know what you think.

CLICK HERE FOR: Gurren Lagann: Bust Through the Heavens with Your Drill

My description of the first episode was pretty spot on, so please watch episode two as well. Then you will at least be a little surprised. If you don’t like the human’s are primitive arch, I am pretty sure you can watch from episode 17, where the “7 years later” arch begins.  Episode 16 is like a little book report of the first half of the series, which is helpful if you are skipping over the first half. I wouldn’t suggest skipping the first half though.

I will leave my readers with this: Have you been inspired by anything recently? If in the past, when’s last time you took another look at that inspiration? You might find that it still inspires you. Take a look, it’s in a book … lol… another great song to hum with a theme in mind.  

T.H.I.N.K as I see it

I find my self sitting with a blank word document thinking, how I should continue this blog. I could go on like this is my personal diary; but even I would get bored. In the meeting with the resume  person yesterday he used a lot of great analogies to describe the kind of cover letter I want to create. I think I can take those and use them towards this blog, sort of. My favorite example he used was when most people write cover letters, they are talking about them selves. This is why a resume is created. Use the cover letter to show interest in the company; like a first date. If you on a date with a really awesome person and they spend the entire date talking about them selves, would you see them again? I wouldn’t, even if they were hot; same with my blog. I read and re-read this thing because I want to represent myself how I see myself. I wrote something before I wrote this and I was yawning. It’s time to be an interesting person and I think I can only do that by experiencing life. I have become a shut-in, except for work which supports my anti-social life style. I think I am ready for more. So enough of all that jazz, how are you?

There is nothing like the story of another to bring you out of your own reality. Sometimes I feel utterly inspired by the stories in books and films. One of the most influential films for me in the last 6 months was Tron: Legacy. No rhyme or reason to explain why a futuristic and technological take on life would better my own life, except I think we all need a little fantasy in our lives. Maybe, a little excitement to show us that we are still alive with out putting our own lives at risk. Sometimes the inspiration is a character; how they achieve their goals or how their deal with their disappointment. I like to look at them as teaching aides. I get some of my greatest advice from watching other humans going through fictional situations similar to my own. What tools do they use that I am not using. What words do they choose that I fail to find in myself? It doesn’t help knowing that these characters are reading a script and the story is set in stone, but do you ever watch a movie over and over again hoping it will be different at least once? Bring the element of humanity into something so falsely representing it. And yet, as I said before, they are still my teaching aides for my life. False in the sense that things always seems to go as perfectly planned. Life is not like that. I could script out my entire existence and I promise there would be unexpected elements added all the time. I can’t predict what other people will do and say, also known as free will. Does this prove that fate is not set in stone; instead a series of choices all leading to different individual forks in the road to your own reality? 

Wouldn't it be amazing to see the possibilities that lay behind each fork on the road to decision; or would it end up being like a movie. You know where it’s going, why watch it follow through… Luckily, I love watching the same movies over and over, except for the scary or bad ending movies. Life is probably closer to these types of movies. It would be better not to see where those forks could lead. You might end up seeing worse or even more worse. How do you choose between those two roads? Would there be an influx in suicide?

When I read the last 3 sentences, I see realism. I also see where somewhere could see a negative nelly. I guess we all choose what we want to see when we see different words chained together. I see truth where as someone else sees only darkness. Maybe I made my life this way, or maybe life has always been this way, I just took off my rose colored glasses. I can not lie though; I miss my rose colored glasses. I know that we are all born with a set in place. It’s our life experiences that change how we see the world, or remove these proverbial glasses. Is it better to be ignorant and happy or well informed and haunted? What I need are some travel ear plugs. Just pop those babies in every time I sense knowledge being exuded. Not all knowledge is beneficial.

T.H.I.N.K, I have heard this acronym many times through out my life; probably because I often forget it and find myself breaking all the rules.

• T – True, are you about to say something that is true or false?
• H – Helpful, do your words take or give back to the situation?
• I – Inspiration, do your words stimulate emotion?
• N – Necessary, did you need to add that last thought?
• K – Kind, do your words hurt people’s feelings?

It’s not easy to think before you talk. It’s even harder to follow all these rules all the time. Experience teaches us that the more we are true to these rules, the better our human interactions become. It’s a universal truth that we all just wanted to be treated the way we perceive our selves. Some of us are humble and see one human interacting with another human. Others have a life long ego boost and see all others bowing down to them; or vice versa. Either way, remember the above listed acronym before you speak and I bet your interaction will improve.

Although my above example sounds like it is full of judgment, it is not. Who am I to tell you your upbringing is incorrect. Many people are born into luxury and quickly come accustomed to a certain life style. One of my favorite phrases growing up was “It’s not fair!” My mom was always telling me how unfair life is and how I will learn to avoid pointing it out one day. I still think life is unfair, I just don’t say it anymore. Maybe it’s my American upbringing, but I think we should all be treated equally. History is supposed to teach our society the mistakes of the past, but I still the same hierarchy we fled from. I want to say that we are no longer born into our standing in life, and for many Americans, this is true. But there are so many more that are not as lucky. Hearing this, isn’t your first thought about how unfair this is?  

Ok, I’m a bleeding heart, but isn’t it better to worry about something really important rather than something so shallow? I would love to not worry at all, except it just seems to be written into my DNA. I have met several people in my life who claim to been able to detach them selves from things like worry and insecurity. I am not surprised to find that most of these people are Libras. The only problem I have seen thus far is the level of responsibility. IF you don’t care, then does it matter? It always matters, no matter your level of interest. It’s the difference between doing a good job and a great job or being there and not. Therefore my curse of worrying is a gift. I know that I am the person I want to be when I see my self worried or concerned; or when I care about the quality of my work.

I said before that I hate being so knowledgeable and I gave you all the negative sides to it. But there is a positive side. You can bring your gained wisdom to lost souls. You can prevent future failures by learning from past failures. But most of all, you can be proud all your hard work. Like this blog for me. I thought I wanted a blog to publicly cite my emotions and vent my frustrations. Now I think it’s my way of openly talking to myself. I can’t hear my own voice, but I can read it. Thank you internet.

A wise man in my life told me that there are two aspects to every person; the body and the soul. (NO, I am not pushing my beliefs on you, just explaining a point through them.) I believe in reincarnation, which means I believe my soul has lived and will live many lives before and after the one. (A lot less scary than hell, trust me.) The knowledge my soul has gained is invaluable, but taping into that resource is like mining for gold. Sometimes you get lucky and hit the mother load. Other times, you spend most of your life never reaching more than a treasured nugget. (I love metaphors.) I won’t know which person I am until my death bed. Therefore I am going to keep digging and hoping one day I tap into that knowledge to better improve the quality of this life time. On that same thought, I also think that the reason some people don’t ever get the mother load is because they need to learn new lessons that haven’t learned yet. I get a feeling things used to more openly handed to me and I never really got far in my lifetimes. Why? Instinct tells me that I am facing some obstacles for the first time. I hope one of those is longevity in this lifetime.

I will leave my readers with this thought: What are your beliefs and have you revisited them recently? Sometimes we get so disconnected with the hustle and bustle of every day’s obligations. Sit down and think to your self why you are here. You might find a great weight lifted off your chest. Remember though, no matter your beliefs, you are in control of your life. Don’t give that power up to any one else, no matter their status.